Ordering coffee in Russian (phonetic)

Is there a coffeehouse nearby?	Kafye ryadom?
A coffee, please.	Kofyey, pozhaluista.
...black coffee...	...cherny kofyey...
...coffee with cream...	...kofyey s'slivk...
...a coffee with cream and sugar...	...kofyey c cakharom y c molokom...
...iced coffee...	...zamorozhyennwee kofyey...
Care for a game of chess?	Y vwee lyubitye sigrat' igru shaxhmat?
No, thanks. I find chess to be too existential, meaningless,and boring a pastime in such a temporal existence as ours. I prefer to live in the moment.	Nyet, spasiba. Ya nakhozhu shakhmat dlya tovo chto bwi bwit' slishkom ekeistentsialen, nesmwislov ee buryashch b remyaprovozhdeniye v takom v isochnom s ushchestvovani kak eto. Ya prednochitayoo zhit' v momentye.
More coffee, please.	Pobol'shye kofyeyevo, pozhaluista.
What's taking you so long?	Prinimayetye vwee nastol'ko dlinoi?
Hurry, please! I'm about to fall asleep.	Speshnost', pozhaluista! Ya dolzhhnwi okolo uspat' son.
I would like it intravenously.	Ya khotyel yevo vnytrivyenno.